Purple Pants Podcast | The Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show Pt 1

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[00:02:58] Hello, hello and welcome to the Purple Pants Podcast Episode 382 Gerard Carmichael Reality Show Part 1.

[00:03:08] I serve as your humble and also gracious host Bryce Isaiah and I thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode.

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[00:03:50] I am super excited for this week's episode because this Gerard Carmichael reality show on HBO Max is just such a interesting and in my opinion, a revolutionary reality show.

[00:04:06] It is very real, very raw.

[00:04:09] I don't agree with a lot of Gerard's takes, but I also agree.

[00:04:15] I also feel like Gerard being a gay black man and telling his truth is so empowering.

[00:04:23] And it's just honestly parts of this reality show are a little cringy, but they're like in my opinion very like thought provoking conversations to be had.

[00:04:36] And so I felt like, you know what? First of all, when I started watching this show, I was like, I need to talk about this.

[00:04:41] And then of course my friend, you might know him from Big Brother the Cookout, Derek Frazier.

[00:04:47] I was like, Derek, you need to watch this.

[00:04:49] And after he watched a couple of episodes, he was like, girl, I don't know how to feel.

[00:04:54] And I was like, you know what? We need to talk about it.

[00:04:56] So I'm so excited to have my friend, Derek Frazier with me on this episode and we are talking the Gerard Carmichael show episodes one through four.

[00:05:06] So listen, let's get into it. Let's talk about it.

[00:05:10] It's a man who is a man you me and potatoes like we're cooking up a great stew.

[00:05:15] It's a man who is a man you me and potatoes like we're cooking up a great stew.

[00:05:21] What's up, what's up.

[00:05:25] We are back with a special episode about the Gerard Carmichael show.

[00:05:31] I am joined by my friends, my brother.

[00:05:35] You might recognize him from BB 23 the Cookout Big D or you might listen to him hear him remember his voice from the heavy crown network.

[00:05:42] Welcome back to the podcast.

[00:05:44] Derek, how are you?

[00:05:47] Hello, Bryce Isaiah, my brother on the Purple Pants podcast.

[00:05:52] I'm so glad to be here to talk about this show that I regret watching and I cannot wait to get into it.

[00:06:00] But thank you for having me once again as a guest.

[00:06:04] This is great.

[00:06:05] I'm so happy to be here of course.

[00:06:07] Yes, you know we love to have you here.

[00:06:10] And I started watching the Gerard Carmichael show maybe like a month ago when it came out and I discovered Gerard from his stand up comedy special.

[00:06:19] I think it's called like Ro Nathan, Ro Michael and it's his stand up comedy that won him the Emmy.

[00:06:26] And I thought that that comedy show was or that comedy special was so good.

[00:06:30] It's called it's called Nathan your Michael hold on wait let me make sure I did it right.

[00:06:35] I don't even know because I didn't know who he was to be honest like I said.

[00:06:39] He's been in some shows, but he has he has these stand up comedies on HBO and the one that won him an Emmy is called Ro Daniel.

[00:06:54] And what I do love about Gerard is that I love his comedy style is very introspective is very about himself it's very like relatable.

[00:07:04] And like him telling stories.

[00:07:06] It's like he kind of has dry humor, but I think that he's great and in a row wrote Ro Daniel because that's his real name is real name isn't Gerard his real name is Ro Daniel.

[00:07:18] His dad wanted to honor his dad and his mom's dad.

[00:07:23] So he combined their names and which is why his name is Ro Daniel.

[00:07:29] So you just, you know, you got to get into the special but also in the special.

[00:07:33] He comes out as being gay, and it is this big thing in his family, his family doesn't necessarily accept it or they have a hard time processing it and for him.

[00:07:45] He talks about it in this special and in his comedy specials.

[00:07:49] And so that's really like my extent of knowing about Gerard.

[00:07:54] And so then this reality show came out and I was like, let me get into this you know I'm always looking for something to watch and I really do believe that HBO or Max.

[00:08:05] Like I love their shows and I love the content that they put out because it's like I haven't really seen a bad HBO series.

[00:08:12] I they've been doing very well I've kind of been checking it out and seeing what else I want to watch or shows or series and things like that.

[00:08:21] So I mean what like how you discover him I discovered him completely different.

[00:08:26] You know I was watching the little Nas X, you know, concert tour documentary.

[00:08:31] And then it was like once I got done it was like more things you would like and I remember you mentioning this show to me one time and he was like you're not watching the draw Carmichael show.

[00:08:42] I was like, who so did once I saw it and I'm sitting here I'm like, whatever let me just keep this night rolling and see, you know what else is on, you know, TV, I just decided to put it on and the first like I was hooked, you know it was just there's so much to debrief.

[00:09:02] And really is excited for us to talk about it because I think it's just very interesting to see.

[00:09:10] You kind of started off and tell us where we are. But just to see a black man kind of, you know, a gay black man who's late in the game, explain his point of view and really be on brand with some of us that probably been out for since we were teenagers and stuff like that.

[00:09:26] So this is just interesting to see.

[00:09:29] Absolutely. And so he starts, I guess one reality shows right and reality shows like this.

[00:09:36] I have to be honest. I haven't seen a reality show this real probably since the real world days, since the Osborns sense like I mean because for me I really do feel like this is cutting edge reality TV because it is very real.

[00:09:55] Now, Gerard Michael shares with us that he is in therapy.

[00:10:00] Since everything he has a lot of things that he's working on and he really feels like he wants to have some of these conversations with his parents while they're still live to kind of like work through their process of accepting him and just in his life and he feels

[00:10:14] like he wouldn't be able to do that if he didn't have the cameras. He feels like the cameras kind of give him some type of like protection and he wants to like hold himself accountable.

[00:10:23] So in like the first episode he talks about the Truman show with Jim Carrey and how like he's trying to Truman show himself. And so there is an aspect of that where I feel like it's real.

[00:10:36] And then like Big D and I were like watching an episode together yesterday and Derek was like he doing too much. Is this for the cameras? And so it's like hard to say right because we don't really know Gerard right all we know is what we see on this reality show that he is giving us about his life.

[00:10:53] And so for me after seeing four episodes it's like he is extra. He is over the top. He talks about him being anxious in his anxiety and so it's like some of the times I'm like is this really over the top or is this really him?

[00:11:09] It's really, no I do understand why he has the cameras there because when you have the cameras there it does put more pressure on a person to have to speak or like speak up because I can understand where if you're I think about my parents and if I was having a conversation with them or things like that that he's trying to make successful and trying to accomplish.

[00:11:33] I would have probably been like my mom would have been like get the shit out of here. I ain't got time for that. I'm thinking about things like how parents are and how they act but when there's a camera there they're more like they don't want to be embarrassed.

[00:11:45] They know they're you know people are going to be watching this so they you know it's just like when you have company your parents are like clean house, the house needs to be perfect. That's basically what this is.

[00:11:54] They want to make sure like you're like the house is clean. No it's not you know so this is what how I compare it but it is very interesting to see how real and as you said I have not seen a show this raw and this like real probably since you said real world.

[00:12:15] I don't think any of like the solo brand shows that do real stuff is that real. I mean only thing I can say is real is maybe a baddies fight that happens on Zeus Network but or any of that. That's why the realest I would get but I haven't seen like a documentary this real and it is put together so well where I feel it.

[00:12:39] It's so uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable sometimes to watch but that's also how you know it's good and I say it's uncomfortable to watch because Derek and I are both gay black men are parents are or would have been around the same ages.

[00:12:56] And so it's just very interesting. I also feel like with Gerard being a gay black man. I think a lot of what he is sharing in this reality series is real T how some of and I don't want to like lump everybody together but I really do feel like there is a lot of taboo things that he touches on that in the gay community like it's common knowledge to us but like we don't really talk about it and so I'd love the fact that he is

[00:13:26] trying to kind of like normalize a lot of things also some of the things is like I don't know if I would have said that but kudos to you for saying that and so he has four episodes out right now that 30 minutes are really easy watch and so what I love about these four episodes is that

[00:13:43] they're very specific topics and I feel like it's it goes into like for me what it is to be a gay black man now his experience is different than mine and we're not

[00:13:54] completely different completely different but can actually do you have the titles of each episode. Absolutely absolutely good because that would definitely yeah I want to

[00:14:05] let me cook I got this like no but it's like again I believe Gerard is 38 and so again we talk about representation of how it matters and so it's like so interesting to see someone that is around my age

[00:14:20] and seeing him in his cell and so there are four episodes the first episode is called the Emmys the second episode is called Mike the third episode is called friendship and the fourth episode is called road trip.

[00:14:32] Now in the first episode we see Gerard and my this episode kind of took tick tock and a lot of social media by storm because again I feel like the subject matter of this episode the Emmys is really about you.

[00:14:48] You don't necessarily even have to be gay but it's about like you having someone that you might have like feelings for someone that like you know and like it's kind of like almost rejection and so I think that every queer person can relate to rejection right.

[00:15:10] And so the first episode is called the Emmys Gerard's best friend is Tyler the creator an amazing rapper who also is someone that we don't really know their sexuality a lot of people call them bisexual and a lot of

[00:15:24] people call him Tyler's raps he talks about you know having sex with men and he also I don't know if you've ever seen the sway Lee interview where he's like ups like where he's in the sway sway in the morning you know sway in the morning.

[00:15:38] I'm gonna need you to Google this interview where it's like sway you know how he has people rapping.

[00:15:46] And so he drops a beat and Tyler the creator starts rapping he's like I'm up in the studio with sway we about to have but sex with some cute boys and sway is like what why would you say that but people love Tyler he's so respected and what I do love about Tyler is that like whether

[00:16:07] whatever his sexuality is he doesn't let it affect him and it doesn't affect him in this rap industry and it's almost like he's like taunting them so Gerard and Tyler are really good friends and in this episode also what is important about his reality show is like it's infused with some of his stand up so we really get to see when he's talking about his real life

[00:16:28] and his stand up then the reality show kind of like mirrors what he's going through and so the basis of the first episode is that Tyler or Gerard comes to the conclusion that he's in love with his best friend or he has feelings for his best friend.

[00:16:43] And again what I say is like rejection every person can relate to I can remember being like seventh grade and I won't even say the person's name but I remember it was just like boy that I was friends with and seventh grade and like I they were like a popular kid and like we became friends and then I just remember being like I love him.

[00:17:03] I love him but I wasn't Gerard Carmichael with it but it's just very very interesting how Gerard kind of brings up his interest for Tyler Tyler's response he I guess he sends Tyler text message and then Tyler sends him a voice note like bitch you crazy and then they don't talk for like

[00:17:25] I think I think he said I don't think he called him crazy I think he said bitch you stupid. Yeah you stupid which I was like but I think that because he is a comedian and Tyler also finds himself very funny I think he was kind of like thinking like

[00:17:43] number one he was probably like okay well you're funny because we're friends you know so he's like bitch you're stupid if you fell in love with me or something like that but I find it very interesting I want to go back to what you said about Tyler the creator.

[00:17:54] Yeah I'm kind of like I'm kind of confused I guess maybe you don't you know what another thing that we have to change in society we always have to come out we always have to say right I do and stuff like that so I appreciate it's a it's a double

[00:18:09] it's a double detondra I appreciate Tyler not being like oh I want to let everybody know I'm by right let everybody know I'm gay or what I'm into it's like he ain't got to say nothing but I also but I also because he is a rapper and because of how the rap community is I think it's

[00:18:28] also something empowering because it should be a negative thing but it's also empowering to say oh I'm gay or I'm into men because then it opens up that door that they try to always close when it comes to gay people in the rap industry so I think that it would have been even great if he was able to state that

[00:18:48] but he doesn't have to so that's why I said it's a double edged sword in that type of situation.

[00:18:53] I also and so another thing is then there's this hotel scene where Gerard invites Tyler to the Emmys because he has won this Emmy for his special and Tyler can't come but then Tyler comes to the hotel for them to talk to the first time that they have seen each other

[00:19:13] and when I tell you awkward it is so awkward because I look at it from Tyler's perspective of like one your friend is saying that they're attracted to you to this is like your brother and so three it's like you want to let them know that you're not interested in them

[00:19:32] however they're your friend so you don't want to hurt their feelings you don't want to like lose the friendship and so it's like this weird dance that Tyler and Gerard do while they are eating food in the hotel it's like so awkward and there's so many

[00:19:53] I think I'm going to take talks about it and it was funny because I kept telling Wendell to watch this show because I was like it is about a gay man's experience but I also feel like he's a black man and I feel like throughout these episodes there's so many things that I feel like black men can get out of

[00:20:08] and before I really even seen all the episodes of then I was like here I am telling Wendell to watch this show and I was like wait I don't what Wendell to take that I'm trying to tell him that I am Gerard he is Tyler however when we were in Pittsburgh me and Wendell filmed the hotel scene like we reenacted it

[00:20:27] and it is so funny so if you are listening to this you'll have to let me know if I should drop that to my Instagram

[00:20:34] please do

[00:20:35] but it's so interesting and so awkward in this scene of them kind of like going back and forth but also like how real is this scene

[00:20:45] it's very real because also he got food delivered so he was like I'm eating my fucking food like and they ate together

[00:20:52] and then Gerard being how they were having a conversation Gerard you can clearly see is so upset that he's not even eating

[00:21:01] yeah I think it's hard it's no one ever wants to be in a situation to tell I mean let me tell you something you're telling your best friend that you like them or like them love them or whatever whatever

[00:21:15] what is somebody that you like just being vulnerable and that rejection for me so that's one interesting point of it right and also Gerard is at the height of his career he's getting ready to get it in me

[00:21:29] and another piece that he touches on which I just think is crazy but is real is that sometimes when you get rejected what's the best way to cope of your feelings

[00:21:43] and I and Gerard clearly shows for us that how he is coping with this rejection is getting on gay dating apps and hooking up with people now this is a very taboo

[00:21:58] situation and it's like seeing this on TV is crazy but it is a part of this gay subculture specifically with gay men because let's talk about it and one of the reasons also why I do love this show is because he is bringing to light a subculture that you and I Derek know exists

[00:22:22] I don't know why you're including no but I'm not saying that you participate I'm not saying that I participate but girl you know

[00:22:34] no it was the way that he is showing the way that he is showing the audience how like this is like when you look up POV like he is showing us exactly what this is like what it's like being a gay man and then also being a gay black man too

[00:22:51] so showing us the POV of his messages on Grindr showing us how like them coming to the hotel

[00:23:00] showing us how they don't care like this but you gotta think about it nowadays with how our society is I mean everyone's recording everything so it's like these guys are probably like oh my god this is like an upgrade for my only fans

[00:23:16] I'm about to be on HBO Max like yeah for sure I'm coming up and you could film whatever you want to film but you know it's just I think the part from me that also makes it awkward too is just like watching him with these guys sitting on the couch making out toes in his mouth and the camera guy and I love how real it is because then the other camera guy pans to the other camera guy

[00:23:42] and you can see the other guy back out like he like I didn't see enough I today paid me for it

[00:23:47] right showing them recording them and then it's just like talking about like what they're into what they like what turns him on like it's very very like if you're talking to your best friend and like you're telling them exactly in the private of just you and your best friend but now it's not private it is worldwide like everyone can see this so now with him doing this he's giving everybody

[00:24:11] an insight of how awkward it could be hooking up but also showing you how straightforward it is and we have seen this we have seen this on baby platforms of heterosexual seeing straight people and things like that but we've never seen it at a homosexual level where it's like now we're showing you how we not all of us we all go about a little different but how somebody could be like this.

[00:24:39] Yeah and also it just it goes to show like the casual sex culture in the and I just I can only speak for the community that I know of like the gay man community. It's like I mean literally if I like if I wanted to I could get on my phone right now so I could be in my house like that's it and it's crazy and it's taboo but it also is something that is so real and I also feel like there is a negative stigma with it which is why people don't talk about it.

[00:25:08] And so I do appreciate Gerard for giving a glimpse into this world that is the gay hookup scene because it is a thing okay like it's a thing they call it cruising at some place.

[00:25:27] It's a thing and I feel like every gay man has explored or have done it or views some type of app or try to maybe meet somebody and things like that you know it is a way like you said it is a cruising app as they say and you know some people use it for cruising or you might find a love their life you know depending.

[00:25:50] But you know it's the only thing that's so normal to all of us that we are accustomed to and no and not I'm not sitting here pointing out anybody but I'm just saying in general we all talk about it we've all used it or have explored so now here it is on a.

[00:26:07] In your face like in your face like this like it is here you're seeing it live action they're showing us what the messages are right.

[00:26:15] Right.

[00:26:16] They're showing us they're so real didn't like one of the guys if I'm correct that this is the same episode one of the guys like.

[00:26:23] Oh yeah I like your body he had no faith but I like.

[00:26:26] And they're showing his there like this it's just his body and it's just like just a man again.

[00:26:32] Again exploring his body exploring the depths of this casual hook up culture where's people the people it be blank.

[00:26:41] blank profile blank people give they address and like yeah and so how crazy how do we do now that is the crazy part is that when you sit there and now when you watch it you kind of sit there and you go wow we really live our lives on like.

[00:26:57] Actually we should we could be on multiple like this would have been Jeffrey Dahmer's dream he would he would have ate this all up we he would have had double the amount of people that he killed this would have been like.

[00:27:09] Great for him.

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[00:29:52] I also, again, because I do think that there is a stigma and there's a negative condensation

[00:29:58] with this like hookup culture. But also I do believe that it doesn't have to be. I think

[00:30:05] for me personally when you seeing something like this on TV, if it's something that you're

[00:30:11] not familiar with, it's very jarring. And I think a lot of the negative condensation

[00:30:16] comes with this is because when you think of like gay sex, what's the first thing that

[00:30:22] you think of AIDS, the AIDS epidemic, right? And so seeing something like this is crazy.

[00:30:27] But also I think that like one, you should always practice safe sexes, you know, but I

[00:30:32] also feel like the times have changed. The girlies have prepped. There are things

[00:30:38] that are now in this culture that can make it look like safer. And so it's like it

[00:30:44] shouldn't be as stigmatized as it is, but it is just so jarring to see it. But also it's

[00:30:53] like so real because it's like you know. And so it's just it's a lot. And so that is the

[00:31:01] first episode and then it kind of transitions into the next episode, which is called Mike.

[00:31:06] And I do want to say it was very good to see just to kind of go back love watching

[00:31:10] him get ready for the Emmys. You know, we saw him talk about the day and I do want to point

[00:31:16] out one person that he did bring. I could not get over whoever he brought the guy who would

[00:31:23] not which I was like this is. Oh, his friend. One of his friends was his friend because

[00:31:28] he was wearing a ski mask. And essentially saying like, and this is one of Gerard's

[00:31:34] friend that essentially was saying like girl what you doing is crazy. And like there

[00:31:38] is reality and there is your real life. And he's like you're bringing this into your

[00:31:42] real, real life. There are ramifications for it. And once it's like you can't get rid

[00:31:46] of it. And the friend was so like admin about it. The friend had a mask on and they

[00:31:50] were disguising his voice because he was like I love you, but I'm not going to

[00:31:53] support this. Like I can't be a part of this. Like you need to kind of check

[00:31:58] yourself. So it's interesting to see that everybody in his life is not for this

[00:32:06] experiment. Which is interesting. This is very interesting because if you think

[00:32:11] about it, which will get into it, it seems like everybody else at some point when

[00:32:14] we talk about it is showing their face. The fact that his friend is not showing

[00:32:18] his face now makes me a little curious to know it's just friend on the DL.

[00:32:24] Is that why he's not showing his face? Well, I'm just I'm being a double

[00:32:27] advocate. I don't everybody. But I think the friend was also making a

[00:32:32] point like, of course, I'm not you not opening up my life to this life to

[00:32:37] your life to the like all of this to all of this. But so but great point.

[00:32:42] Thank you for bringing that up. And so the next episode is called Mike.

[00:32:47] And so then we learned that Gerard is in a relationship. Now this kind of

[00:32:52] like I won't share a lot of my opinion, but this kind of struck a

[00:32:58] court with me. And also there was some controversy in this episode because

[00:33:03] Gerard's boyfriend is a white man. Gerard very specifically says on this

[00:33:08] episode he has a type and everybody can have a type and then wrong having a

[00:33:11] type, but his type is a white or Latino twink. And essentially what that

[00:33:18] is, it's just a skinny white or Latino like small frame person.

[00:33:24] So like nothing is wrong with that. And that's what Gerard likes.

[00:33:28] And so I don't know, struck a court with me just because I respect Gerard

[00:33:36] and I love what he's doing. And I don't know. It just struck a

[00:33:42] court with me. I am for you can love whoever you want to love.

[00:33:45] You can like be with whoever you want to be with. But again, for me,

[00:33:48] like representation matters a lot. And so it's like for this black gay man

[00:33:54] who is like for me, it's like, oh, look at our lives. And then for him to

[00:34:00] essentially be like the black gays like myself, I don't know. It just

[00:34:06] it kind of hurt my feelings a little bit, but I understood it and I got

[00:34:10] it. And so there was another controversy with him talking about

[00:34:13] his boyfriend. He made like a joke about his boyfriend read so much

[00:34:19] and that Gerard loves that about him and that Gerard doesn't read

[00:34:22] enough. And Gerard is used to being like the smartest person in the world.

[00:34:25] He made a joke that it's like sometimes he feels like his boyfriend

[00:34:30] is the slave master and he's teaching him how to read.

[00:34:34] And so that called a lot of controversy.

[00:34:36] And people were saying like, oh, Gerard's into like race playing

[00:34:39] all of this stuff. He went on the breakfast club to clear it up.

[00:34:42] And he was very adamant that like he's a comedian.

[00:34:46] His stuff doesn't need to fit into these societal things.

[00:34:49] But like he was made it very clear that the joke was about reading

[00:34:55] and not about anything else, which was kind of a little unclear.

[00:34:58] But it was interesting to see that Gerard even mentioned that a lot of

[00:35:02] the people that have been giving him the most slack were coming from like

[00:35:06] racist KKK people and gay black men.

[00:35:09] And so I was just like, oh, like maybe I'm not the only person

[00:35:11] that kind of felt so type of white.

[00:35:13] So that was interesting.

[00:35:14] But with his boyfriend, Gerard reveals that they're in this new relationship.

[00:35:20] He's found his person.

[00:35:22] He really likes them.

[00:35:23] They're exploring.

[00:35:24] But Gerard talks about in this

[00:35:27] gay cruising casual sex scene that it's hard for him to be

[00:35:34] in a monogamous relationship.

[00:35:38] I want to cut to this.

[00:35:40] When he said the whole race thing, I really thought he said

[00:35:45] race play.

[00:35:46] Like I thought when I was watching it, I thought that's what he said.

[00:35:49] I thought he was saying like, you know, whatever, going over the different things

[00:35:54] that, you know, he's into, fee, piss, whatever.

[00:35:57] And I thought he said race play.

[00:36:00] Like I thought that's what he said.

[00:36:02] I thought it too.

[00:36:03] Right. Maybe I don't want to practice club.

[00:36:06] I don't know. I need to go back and watch it.

[00:36:08] I'm about to pull it up right now just so I can hear it because I swear.

[00:36:11] But he says place.

[00:36:12] Also, taboo people.

[00:36:14] People like what they like.

[00:36:15] Like that's OK.

[00:36:16] That's OK. I'm OK.

[00:36:18] OK. That is perfectly fine.

[00:36:20] I do want to say this.

[00:36:21] Yes, it you know, when you when in a society just like in life,

[00:36:26] it is very hard to sit there and say what you're into,

[00:36:30] what you're like without being judged.

[00:36:32] And it's not that everyone has each to their own.

[00:36:36] There's people that are like, I only want to date people that are tall.

[00:36:40] So that means you're cutting out everybody that's short.

[00:36:43] So in, you know, with it being in twenty twenty four,

[00:36:47] I can understand him being a black man, him being like this.

[00:36:51] He's like the first he's like the first like, you know,

[00:36:55] black men doing this like show that's so real, so raw.

[00:36:58] And then it's like, of course, we want to see us being who we are.

[00:37:02] Black love, black power, we want to see that.

[00:37:05] So I can understand where it's a little bit for yourself a little bit

[00:37:09] like, damn, like I was like, I wanted to see something you could relate

[00:37:14] to and watch because not say you could relate to it to a certain extent.

[00:37:18] But it would have been even more hitting right for you if he was into other

[00:37:23] black men and things like that.

[00:37:25] So I understand because when I watch TV and I watch these reality shows,

[00:37:29] I want to watch people that I could relate to people that I could sit there

[00:37:32] and be like, you know what, I can I'm so into this.

[00:37:35] So it's very interesting to say that.

[00:37:37] But like you said, we can't everybody's into something just like women

[00:37:41] and to certain things, men and to certain things, gays, lesbians,

[00:37:44] everything else, they them and all.

[00:37:46] So I think the most important thing that we have to take away from this is

[00:37:51] that I found it very interesting that when he said it's very hard

[00:37:55] to be a monogamy because of this cruising app.

[00:37:58] And we also in this episode, if I'm correct, he's going to therapy.

[00:38:03] So it's like he is trying to figure out exactly like,

[00:38:08] does he have a sex addiction because of the fact that he cannot stop

[00:38:13] finding these men, hooking up this man.

[00:38:15] And then he says he's in love with this person.

[00:38:17] It really did make it frustrating for me because I was kind of watching this

[00:38:22] just like. What the fuck, dude?

[00:38:25] Like, is it really that hard?

[00:38:27] Like, is it really that hard?

[00:38:29] Again, I this is some of the nuances that I appreciate your ride

[00:38:35] for bringing to the table because like let's talk about it.

[00:38:38] Like let's talk about the sex industry, the porn industry.

[00:38:41] A lot of people have sex addiction, sex addiction,

[00:38:44] addictions that they don't really acknowledge with this error

[00:38:49] of the internet porn.

[00:38:50] Like Pete, like there is studies that show that people are less intimate

[00:38:55] with their own partners because of porn.

[00:38:57] Right. And so you couple that with porn and these cruising apps.

[00:39:01] Like I think what Gerard is making a good point of like,

[00:39:04] I love this person.

[00:39:05] I want to be with this person.

[00:39:06] But these desires that I have seem to kind of they went over.

[00:39:12] Also, let's talk about monogamy.

[00:39:15] Like that's a social construct.

[00:39:16] And I'm not saying that open relationships are for everyone.

[00:39:19] But again, it leads for me.

[00:39:21] It's more about being honest.

[00:39:23] And I think that we through this, we see that Gerard lies

[00:39:27] to his boyfriend about being faithful, but then comes comes clean on it.

[00:39:31] But my thing is like, your boyfriend love you clearly

[00:39:35] because you're still together today after all of this has come out.

[00:39:38] Like why not have this relationship with or why not explore the options

[00:39:42] of like, hey, what about an open relationship and let's explore?

[00:39:48] Let's make rules.

[00:39:48] Well, open, but here's another thing I've realized.

[00:39:52] A open relationship to meet up.

[00:39:54] I mean, this is my point to you.

[00:39:55] Right. We're getting we're getting a little

[00:39:57] bit deep here, but the open relationship to me is only going to be

[00:39:59] successful after it's sustained a man of more a manageable monogamy relationship.

[00:40:05] So I don't know.

[00:40:06] I just I don't I've never been in an open relationship.

[00:40:09] But I don't know if that's true.

[00:40:11] I you cannot tell you cannot tell me.

[00:40:14] Listen, you cannot tell me a successful.

[00:40:17] I'm talking longevity, babe.

[00:40:19] We're talking about getting to the wedding.

[00:40:20] We're talking about getting to the aisle, getting married, being together for the rest of it.

[00:40:23] I know there's no way.

[00:40:25] Me, you're just my price.

[00:40:26] Me, you just met.

[00:40:27] I want us to be together, but let's be open.

[00:40:30] That doesn't make any fucking sense.

[00:40:31] That's not it.

[00:40:32] But that's not for us.

[00:40:34] But like the good thing about being gay, the LGBTQ plus community, we're not a monolith.

[00:40:40] Every like people are different.

[00:40:42] So for me, I feel like the basis of it is trust and honesty.

[00:40:47] And if you have trust and honesty, which clearly Karl Michael Gerard

[00:40:52] and his boyfriend don't because we see it.

[00:40:53] But like you're going to.

[00:40:56] Who's to say?

[00:40:57] I don't know.

[00:40:59] Oh, of course.

[00:41:00] I just think it's very, you know me, I'm just very like, I mean, I'm not saying I'm

[00:41:05] just saying I'm just saying based on how he's acting and how he's like,

[00:41:09] I think I have a sex addiction.

[00:41:10] I think I have all this.

[00:41:11] It doesn't seem he might love this guy, but he doesn't love him enough

[00:41:17] to know that he's the only one.

[00:41:20] That is the thing.

[00:41:21] Well, I think I think because I'm going to get you today.

[00:41:25] I'm going to get you or try you or the debate.

[00:41:29] It is an addiction.

[00:41:31] So I think and he is doing the things he's in therapy.

[00:41:35] He's bringing the boyfriend in again.

[00:41:38] It's like it's somebody that's like an alcoholic.

[00:41:40] That's like a parent.

[00:41:41] They love their kids, but they love the liquor.

[00:41:43] And sometimes that addiction is like again, I'm not making excuses.

[00:41:46] I do think that he is highlighting things of society that like we don't talk about

[00:41:52] because it's so taboo and people are just like, oh, he cheated.

[00:41:54] It's done.

[00:41:55] He's he's bringing it to the forefront.

[00:41:58] And so with that, I can respect it.

[00:42:01] And if he is working on his addiction, who's the say now?

[00:42:04] The part that gags me is that they're in couples therapy.

[00:42:08] And when we say this reality show was real, first of all,

[00:42:12] they are long distance relationships.

[00:42:14] So the boyfriend comes every weekend, every other weekend.

[00:42:17] But as we're watching the show, we see Gerard's act going off.

[00:42:22] We see boys coming to the to the house.

[00:42:25] And then when they're in therapy, the therapist acts.

[00:42:29] Gerard, have you been since the last time that you've told Mike and Gerard's

[00:42:33] like, yeah, no, I've been I've been faithful, been working in.

[00:42:38] And you know, I'm working on this.

[00:42:40] Now, we get a confessional from the boyfriend that says in that moment

[00:42:44] he heard Richard R. R. was saying and believed him, but he said the way the

[00:42:49] camera person zoomed in on his face at that moment led him to believe

[00:42:59] that the camera crew and people were aware of something else.

[00:43:04] Because why would you zoom in on my face for this reaction?

[00:43:09] If there's nothing to contradict it?

[00:43:12] And again, it's just like.

[00:43:14] But also what we see of Gerard through him cheating, through him doing all of this

[00:43:19] is that like he loves his boyfriend.

[00:43:21] You know, like he talks about him.

[00:43:23] He really wants to explore this.

[00:43:24] But then it's like you get up in his man face and you lie.

[00:43:27] Like why are you lying?

[00:43:29] I think that's what I'm getting.

[00:43:31] But that's what men do.

[00:43:32] That's what people who do.

[00:43:34] We're showing their cheaters.

[00:43:36] Absolutely.

[00:43:37] But this is where this is where I I just feel like it's also being selfish.

[00:43:42] This is why I don't have respect for people that are cheaters.

[00:43:45] Just sit there and just be single.

[00:43:47] You can still date this man.

[00:43:49] It's simple just to say, can we still date and hang out and be single?

[00:43:53] So then like I can like figure this out.

[00:43:56] And then once he gets because at some point I will tell you this either.

[00:44:00] Right. Either this either just like you related to alcohol.

[00:44:04] Right. Either you put the alcohol down or the alcohol ends up killing you

[00:44:10] or something like that.

[00:44:12] Right. It's one of the other or you get to a point where I don't know.

[00:44:16] I've never met.

[00:44:17] I don't know.

[00:44:18] Somebody would have to tell me in the chat like I've never met people that

[00:44:21] are used to be alcoholics or cigarettes.

[00:44:24] Cigarette is addiction.

[00:44:25] Like that's what I'm saying.

[00:44:26] Like same thing.

[00:44:27] Same thing.

[00:44:27] So I'm just saying at some point you have to sit there and either you put

[00:44:32] it down or you end up.

[00:44:34] I don't think it's that simple though, Derek.

[00:44:35] And I mean I don't think it's that simple.

[00:44:38] I'm just saying I'm giving my I'm just saying my point of view up to this

[00:44:41] at some point at some point he's either going to it's going to hit him

[00:44:48] upside his head to go like because when we say so you're having sex so much.

[00:44:52] And I know we might get into a little bit later, but when you're having sex

[00:44:55] and hookin up with random people so much at some point and not sure you

[00:45:00] say you said when you start feeling dirty or you start feeling like,

[00:45:03] oh my God, like I'm just like I have so many things out of me.

[00:45:06] I can't even keep up with who I'm hooking up with or where I got this

[00:45:11] STD from or this happened and stuff like that.

[00:45:13] You can get to that point in your life.

[00:45:15] I've heard and talked to people that that happened to.

[00:45:18] So at some point he's going to have to get it together because.

[00:45:23] And that's where I say no, trust and respect comes in.

[00:45:27] But why not?

[00:45:28] That's what I'm saying.

[00:45:29] But I'm glad that the boyfriend is not dumb.

[00:45:31] But I also think the boyfriend is dumb to still be staying with him.

[00:45:35] I mean, see, that's where I feel like being too judgmental because it's like

[00:45:39] I'm just mental.

[00:45:41] Somebody is cheating on you.

[00:45:42] But it's easier to say that when you're on the outside looking in.

[00:45:46] But if you are in a relationship that you love somebody, you be like you.

[00:45:50] I've been in relationships where it's like I've stayed extremely too long.

[00:45:54] And me now I would be like never.

[00:45:56] But when you are ready to tell you something, if I don't know, listen,

[00:46:00] if I don't know, I'm just saying my point of view, I'll give you an example.

[00:46:03] My ex, when I was 21 years old, end up getting engaged to somebody on

[00:46:09] Instagram Live, didn't even know there was another person that he was seeing in

[00:46:12] Florida and I had to sit there and take all that in.

[00:46:15] Now, if I would have knew he had this other person, I would have been out.

[00:46:19] And I understand love is weird and people stay and people go through it.

[00:46:23] But I just I don't know.

[00:46:25] That's just me.

[00:46:26] I don't understand how people do that.

[00:46:28] I don't I think that it's it's easier to say what you would do when

[00:46:33] you're not in that situation.

[00:46:34] And again, if somebody is coming to you and saying they have this issue like and

[00:46:38] you love them, you know, working through working through issues is hard.

[00:46:42] And so again, why I love this show is because it invokes these type of

[00:46:48] conversations, it invokes this.

[00:46:49] They don't have nothing to do with him being gay.

[00:46:51] Like, you know what I mean?

[00:46:52] These are things that relationships go through that people struggle with.

[00:46:56] And so again, as jarring and as awkward as it is, it is like, wow, this is kind of real.

[00:47:05] And so we get to meet the boyfriend Mike and that, you know, Gerard loves and

[00:47:11] wants to work through, but he's having these issues.

[00:47:13] And again, we learned that he wouldn't have a lot of these conversations

[00:47:17] if it wasn't for the camera.

[00:47:19] And so I love it or I don't it's just interesting.

[00:47:23] And it's like, no, it's very interesting.

[00:47:25] And I think that anyone who's not watching it, even if you're gay, straight,

[00:47:29] whatever, watch it.

[00:47:30] It's really it's very raw.

[00:47:33] It's very to the point like to the point I text probably every gay friend in my

[00:47:38] phone after watching the second episode, this episode.

[00:47:43] And I was like, I need y'all to watch this.

[00:47:45] Like I need more people to talk to about this because it's

[00:47:50] crazy.

[00:47:50] It's so crazy.

[00:47:51] And then the third episode is called friendship.

[00:47:53] Now, this is the episode that probably hit me the absolute most where I felt like

[00:47:59] I've never heard or seen someone that looks like me

[00:48:05] talk about the things that go on in my head that I just keep to myself.

[00:48:10] And so this episode is about friendship and about how Gerard is such a

[00:48:16] good loyal friend has a lot of different friends.

[00:48:20] But sometimes he can be a very selfish friend where he is just all about himself.

[00:48:26] And he talks about people getting married, birthdays and this and that.

[00:48:30] And he's just like, sometimes I just don't want to go.

[00:48:33] Like I just don't want to go.

[00:48:34] I don't got nothing to do.

[00:48:36] I love my friend.

[00:48:36] I want to be there for my friend.

[00:48:38] I support my friend.

[00:48:39] But like the day of I don't want to go.

[00:48:41] I just want to do what I want to do and just be in my own world.

[00:48:44] And when I tell you that hit me like a ton of bricks because I felt it.

[00:48:52] And it's like so hard to explain where it's like, oh, I love my friends.

[00:48:56] I want to like help and respect.

[00:48:57] But also it's like I just didn't got it in me today.

[00:49:00] I just want to sit in my house with my plants.

[00:49:02] And so it's like seeing him talk about this.

[00:49:06] And then he gives examples of he has this best friend that he's had from high

[00:49:10] school that's getting married and Gerard's like his hesitation of going.

[00:49:15] He didn't really want to go.

[00:49:16] Then he went when he went there.

[00:49:18] He had ordered a tux.

[00:49:20] He didn't realize that he was supposed to wear all black for his best friend's

[00:49:25] wedding, he's supposed to give the speech at the reception.

[00:49:30] Gerard goes out to get a black shirt so that he can match the wedding.

[00:49:34] And then as he goes out the day of the wedding after that,

[00:49:37] he gets arrived to like the wedding and they're like, you supposed to be

[00:49:40] all black like the groom's only one in a white shirt.

[00:49:42] Gerard's like, oh, I'll go get a black shirt.

[00:49:44] Gerard goes to get a black shirt.

[00:49:47] He missed the wedding.

[00:49:50] I was very, I was very disappointed in this situation.

[00:49:55] And I understand and this is where me, I definitely hit home.

[00:49:59] I definitely hit home for you.

[00:50:01] I definitely understand that based on, you know, things that me,

[00:50:04] you have talked about, I am always going to be an advocate of certain things.

[00:50:11] OK, a funeral, a wedding.

[00:50:16] Those are really the top two, like top two.

[00:50:18] But hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[00:50:22] Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[00:50:24] A funeral, a wedding and depending, depending on the birthday,

[00:50:31] depending on the birthday number, right?

[00:50:34] I feel like those are occasions that it's not about you.

[00:50:38] It is about the person that you say you care about.

[00:50:41] Now, if this is a person, this is where this is where I agree with you.

[00:50:45] If this is a person where like we're not really that close to same as this,

[00:50:50] like this somebody from a long time ago,

[00:50:52] don't take on the responsibility of saying yes to things that you don't want

[00:50:57] to have responsibility for.

[00:50:59] You can simply sit there and say, which is fine.

[00:51:02] Hey, I don't want to be a Grimsman, but I will attend your wedding or whatever,

[00:51:07] Brice me or whatever, because there's money and time.

[00:51:10] And his friend, this is where he didn't go this deep, but I'm going deeper.

[00:51:15] His friend who probably spent arm and leg to do

[00:51:21] to be a part of like to have this wedding, money, time, effort,

[00:51:28] everything who probably can't afford this, probably went a lot into it.

[00:51:32] We're for Gerard, who has money.

[00:51:34] It's not that deep of a situation for him.

[00:51:37] Because let me tell you something when you don't, when you have money,

[00:51:40] this is the type of mind frame that sometimes you could think about.

[00:51:43] This was being selfish.

[00:51:45] He was being selfish in this situation.

[00:51:47] He shouldn't have been selfish.

[00:51:48] That's why I found very interesting when I was watching this episode.

[00:51:51] That's just my point of view.

[00:51:53] Yeah, no, no.

[00:51:53] And I don't think that I don't think that it's OK to say I want to be.

[00:52:02] Um,

[00:52:04] I could understand how somebody would be like, I'm going to be my own space.

[00:52:08] I don't always want to do what everybody wanted to do.

[00:52:10] I get that because I'm the same way.

[00:52:13] So that's my thought.

[00:52:15] Now go ahead, give your thought.

[00:52:17] No, I agree.

[00:52:19] I don't think it has to do with money.

[00:52:21] I think that yet Gerard is in a very comfortable space in his life.

[00:52:24] But I think that again, him doing this show was like pulling down the walls

[00:52:28] and just revealing different things.

[00:52:30] And I'm not agreeing with how he goes to approach it.

[00:52:35] But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those thoughts.

[00:52:39] Like, yeah, my friend might be getting married in like, you know, a year.

[00:52:42] Yeah, then the day of comes and it's like, I don't know what my spirit is like.

[00:52:46] I don't know what my week has been like.

[00:52:48] And it's just like, huh.

[00:52:49] And for me, it's like, I have to you have to go and perform.

[00:52:53] You have to you have to show up as the person that they want you to show

[00:52:56] up as, but the reality is that like your mental might not be that person.

[00:53:01] Then you have to like perform and so that's where I just I got what he was

[00:53:07] saying, and I just hadn't heard someone talk like that before.

[00:53:11] And I was just like, oh my God, like I'm not crazy.

[00:53:15] He then has another best friend that and this is just an interesting

[00:53:19] subject where it's like he has a best friend that's been a good,

[00:53:22] good friend of his.

[00:53:23] She wants to pursue her acting career.

[00:53:26] He has now the finances to help support his best friend.

[00:53:30] But the reality of the situation is that

[00:53:34] she might not go anywhere, right?

[00:53:36] Like she might not do anything.

[00:53:37] And it's like he struggles with.

[00:53:40] Do I tell my friend, like hang it up flat screen or do I continue to support

[00:53:45] her? She has moved into his home.

[00:53:49] And again, if you somebody like me who I live by myself,

[00:53:54] I was thinking like, oh, he's moving.

[00:53:57] She's coming in like and me, I am somebody that I live by myself.

[00:54:01] My home is my sanctuary.

[00:54:04] And I could of course, my friends come over.

[00:54:06] Of course, you could spend a night for a day,

[00:54:08] a two day, a three day, but two, three weeks.

[00:54:13] I don't know about that.

[00:54:15] Like it's so interesting where you see like they show these clips of the friend,

[00:54:20] like just playing music sitting on the laptop.

[00:54:22] And then though the cameraman will pan to like Gerard in the kitchen,

[00:54:28] just looking at the friend or Gerard being upstairs in his room and like

[00:54:32] looking down at her like, when are you going to leave?

[00:54:35] Then it's like, you know, Gerard talks about cleaning up and like he's

[00:54:38] cleaning up in the front.

[00:54:39] Like if you think I'm a clean up, I'm cleaning up today.

[00:54:41] And what I think is so interesting is that like it's his best friend.

[00:54:44] So it's like you would think, oh, if I'm staying at somebody house,

[00:54:47] of course I'm a clean up.

[00:54:48] But the best friend is like, shout out, get that later.

[00:54:51] And then this is another weird thing that Gerard does for her birthday.

[00:54:56] She wants all of this

[00:54:58] fun and great stuff.

[00:55:00] What Gerard does is he gets a gets an apartment for her.

[00:55:05] And so he's like, welcome to New York.

[00:55:07] Here's your apartment.

[00:55:08] And for him, it's like I'm getting rid of her.

[00:55:10] I'm getting her out of my hair.

[00:55:11] I need my space back.

[00:55:12] But then Gerard reveals to the camera like, well, I only paid it for a month.

[00:55:17] And I don't know when I'm going to break it to her.

[00:55:19] But like in his way, that is kind of him being like, OK, you want to make it in New York.

[00:55:25] You want to get an active career?

[00:55:26] Like, yeah, you have this rich friend that can help you.

[00:55:29] But.

[00:55:31] You're kind of on your own.

[00:55:33] And so it's like a part of me got that a little bit where it's like,

[00:55:36] I don't want to have the uncomfortable conversations with my friend.

[00:55:41] But here, let me kind of it just it was just interesting.

[00:55:46] What was your take?

[00:55:47] Oh, absolutely.

[00:55:48] I think it was very interesting.

[00:55:49] You know, I definitely understand that like your space is your space.

[00:55:52] So I get that.

[00:55:54] Like, I can't imagine.

[00:55:55] But I think for me is that she wasn't she wasn't respecting his space.

[00:55:59] I think that when you respect someone's space, especially in that tiny type of space,

[00:56:04] she wasn't cleaning up.

[00:56:05] She was being loud, you know, like you just got to be considerate when you're

[00:56:09] entering someone else's space because sometimes some people can sit there and

[00:56:13] say, oh, I love having my friend here because they've been they don't they're

[00:56:17] not my way. She was getting in his way.

[00:56:20] She was doing the most like because that's her friend.

[00:56:24] She feels like I've done like basically she probably felt and I understand

[00:56:28] what she felt like.

[00:56:28] She felt like I've been with you from the beginning.

[00:56:31] I've helped you get to.

[00:56:33] I've done things to help you get to where you're at today.

[00:56:35] So yes, this time around now, it's like you tell my you you're going to take care

[00:56:39] of me and make sure I'm good.

[00:56:41] I expect you to take care of me and do good.

[00:56:43] I think the apartment thing, I think if he really wanted to do a good gesture,

[00:56:47] he could at least said I'm going to pay for the first three months to

[00:56:51] give her some time to find a job or something like that and get her.

[00:56:55] She had to stay with him for a month though.

[00:56:57] So it's like she already got one month free.

[00:56:59] Now you get it.

[00:57:00] I'm just saying I'm just thinking.

[00:57:01] I get what you're saying.

[00:57:03] But yes, I think three months would have been a good, proper gesture.

[00:57:06] I think giving me an apartment for a month that didn't tell me.

[00:57:10] Not even telling me you might you might tell me if he don't tell her ASAP.

[00:57:16] That you know, rent is due the next month.

[00:57:19] Like we don't know where her income is.

[00:57:21] I still don't know where her job is.

[00:57:23] I just know she's trying to be an actress or something like her job.

[00:57:26] She like then there we go.

[00:57:28] Yeah, no, that's not good.

[00:57:30] She quit her job.

[00:57:31] That's not good.

[00:57:32] But again, I also feel like, you know, it just explores the relationships

[00:57:36] of friendships and like how when you have newer friends, longer friends,

[00:57:41] just the expectations, just an interesting subject matter and topic.

[00:57:48] Just thought piece and just again, real ish.

[00:57:51] Now, baby, the last episode is the episode that Derek and I watched together

[00:57:56] and it's called Road Trip.

[00:57:57] And we know that Gerard and his family have an

[00:58:02] estranged relationship because of him coming out there very religious.

[00:58:05] I guess he came out on his birthday on a phone call to his mom and dad.

[00:58:09] The mom said that like, that's not a son of mine.

[00:58:13] Like this isn't right in Christ.

[00:58:16] The dad essentially was like, I didn't raise you to be like this.

[00:58:19] And this is all from Gerard's perspective.

[00:58:21] And so he has an estranged relationship with his dad.

[00:58:24] Also, we know from his stand up comedy,

[00:58:27] Rolthangio is that his dad had an affair on his mom for like 30 years.

[00:58:32] He fathered four other children in this neighborhood.

[00:58:37] I think even in the comedy special, Gerard talks about how one of his best

[00:58:41] friends in high school went over to so Gerard's best friend went over to

[00:58:49] his aunt's house.

[00:58:51] Gerard's best friend went over to his aunt's house,

[00:58:54] not related to Gerard and saw Gerard's dad laying on the couch with his aunt.

[00:59:00] And Gerard's friend who knows Gerard's dad is like, Mr.

[00:59:07] Carmichael and Gerard explains the story where like the dad was like,

[00:59:11] I know that's not I don't know who you talked about.

[00:59:13] But so Gerard just has this relationship with his dad.

[00:59:17] That's kind of strange.

[00:59:18] And again, as like a black gay man, a black father, an older man figure.

[00:59:25] It's just interesting to see them kind of like navigate this.

[00:59:27] Gerard says that like even though his relationship with his mom is strained,

[00:59:32] he has he'll call and talk to his mom.

[00:59:34] Doesn't really talk to his dad.

[00:59:35] And so they want to go back to the dad's hometown.

[00:59:38] So they take this road trip.

[00:59:40] And so it's just very interesting because it's like

[00:59:44] it's very interesting.

[00:59:45] It bitch.

[00:59:47] It is in the first four minutes of the car ride.

[00:59:50] You know, he starts going into dad, you know, you know, or do you want to meet

[00:59:56] my boyfriend? You know, he's talking to these basically talking to his dad,

[01:00:00] like getting his dad open to what we're going to be talking about.

[01:00:04] So he's like, Dad, do you want to see, you know, see my boyfriend?

[01:00:07] Would you want to meet my boyfriend?

[01:00:08] And dad's like, do I want to meet your boyfriend?

[01:00:10] You know, and he's like, do you want to meet him?

[01:00:12] And he's like, I mean, you do not think I want to meet him.

[01:00:15] And he's like, I'm asking you, do you want to meet him?

[01:00:18] And he's like, I mean, yeah, sure.

[01:00:20] He's like, you don't want to meet him, meet him.

[01:00:22] Like, you know, he he wanted his dad to be like, yeah, of course,

[01:00:25] I want to meet the person that you love.

[01:00:26] Like he wants to be in which we can all relate to that.

[01:00:29] Like he wanted him to be excited to meet the person clearly.

[01:00:32] Like, yeah, through the questioning that Gerard was asking him,

[01:00:36] we got the dad essentially was like, well, I don't really want to meet him.

[01:00:40] But since you want me to meet him, I will meet him.

[01:00:43] And that's different.

[01:00:44] Like I will meet him as opposed to I want to meet him.

[01:00:48] And I got what Gerard was trying to put down, but this is where Gerard.

[01:00:52] This was your one completely left.

[01:00:54] OK, he goes, let me let me set it up.

[01:00:56] Yeah, right. So we have this older black man in his seventies who's

[01:01:01] by all things a dad, you know, and.

[01:01:06] We already see through the questioning

[01:01:08] that the dad's like, I don't really want to meet the boyfriend.

[01:01:10] But if you want me to meet him, I'm going to meet him.

[01:01:13] And so Gerard is like, do you want to see a photo of him?

[01:01:16] Derek, please take it away.

[01:01:18] Jurassic, do you want to see a photo of him?

[01:01:20] Gerard starts going through his phone and he's like, here he is.

[01:01:26] And that's literally the type of

[01:01:29] why you got you you won't want to them.

[01:01:32] You won't want to them at Stair.

[01:01:36] That is literally like it's literally a photo.

[01:01:39] It literally is a boyfriend.

[01:01:42] Oh, at least type of underwear.

[01:01:44] No, he's exact exact.

[01:01:47] No, this exact underwear.

[01:01:49] This is the exact underwear he showed us that.

[01:01:51] Did you imagine it was just a lot?

[01:01:53] Because let me tell you something.

[01:01:55] Number one, your first of all,

[01:01:57] will you show a picture of the person that you say you love in a relationship?

[01:02:00] Why would you show your picture of your partner in their underwear or so?

[01:02:04] I don't know. Not even not even a not even a straight person would do that.

[01:02:07] Nobody nobody and no human would do that.

[01:02:11] If I'm showing a picture of a person I'm dating to my parents,

[01:02:14] I will show them something that's presentable.

[01:02:16] That's something that they would be like, oh, you're so cute or something like that.

[01:02:20] Not.

[01:02:23] Yeah, and Derek was like this too much.

[01:02:25] Derek's like I had to I was pissed.

[01:02:28] I was so I was so angry because it felt like to me now in this moment.

[01:02:33] You're trolling.

[01:02:34] You're trolling, but you're also trying to shove it in his face.

[01:02:37] And it's like it's a way to go about it.

[01:02:40] You can ease into it.

[01:02:41] I think about how, you know, when I first talked to my mother and told her I was gay

[01:02:47] and then how she is today, it's stuff that had to ease over the course of time.

[01:02:51] We still haven't had those conversations about who I'm into or what I like.

[01:02:56] But, you know, if I ever do date someone,

[01:03:00] I will be able to say, oh, this is someone who I date and who I love.

[01:03:03] But there's no like he just he just took it so like it really just made me hit my

[01:03:09] hands up and air. I was like, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.

[01:03:13] What are you doing?

[01:03:14] Just sit there like it was just like he was trolling.

[01:03:16] That's what I thought.

[01:03:17] You see this all the day.

[01:03:18] The day was like and also the camera like the camera.

[01:03:23] It's the camera.

[01:03:25] It should get erased.

[01:03:26] The camera crew is so good with making sure they're not just like, oh,

[01:03:31] let me just get both of them in the shot, baby.

[01:03:33] They're like, here's one.

[01:03:35] The camera is flipping back and forth to make sure you get the shot of both of their

[01:03:40] faces, no matter if it's awkward and then it's awkward because dad kind of you

[01:03:44] could tell that that camera wasn't there.

[01:03:46] Oh, you can tell your dad way up right.

[01:03:48] He was going to curse him to fuck out because dad kind of gave the look

[01:03:51] when he's driving, he's like, why?

[01:03:53] But also Gerard talks about this is also why he wants the cameras there

[01:03:56] to have these conversations.

[01:03:58] And so me playing devil's advocate, although I'm on you with this one.

[01:04:03] It's like it is Gerard trying to emulate or is he trying to show up as his

[01:04:12] full self to his parents?

[01:04:13] Right, because it's like you should be able to be your full self to your parents.

[01:04:16] And like, what I'm not it's a limit.

[01:04:19] Not just not not but I mean there are some type of pictures like that.

[01:04:23] There are some.

[01:04:24] There are some people that have those type of relationships with their parents.

[01:04:28] But I mean, that ain't for me, but it was interesting to say you're having sex or

[01:04:33] something like it's OK to not I mean, like it's OK to say like, oh,

[01:04:37] you know, if your parents like are you being protective and things like that?

[01:04:39] It's OK to have those conversations, but I wouldn't dare like be like

[01:04:43] showing my parents like I'm basically my man or woman in there.

[01:04:48] Also the problem in the black community when you have parents like Gerard's

[01:04:52] who are like, oh, this isn't a son of mine.

[01:04:56] That ain't godly.

[01:04:57] So of course, but they are they aren't having conversations about safe sex

[01:05:02] and different things like that because they're just avoiding everything.

[01:05:05] So it's like there is some nuance to like what he's trying to do.

[01:05:09] However, the rest of the road trip, they're in a RV.

[01:05:11] That's just we don't know if it's the old or like if it's the dad actual

[01:05:15] RV or did they rent an RV?

[01:05:17] I hope that Gerard didn't rent this RV because if he did, I would hope that

[01:05:20] it's like you would have rented you would have rented a nicer one.

[01:05:24] However, they go on this four day road trip to get to South Carolina and

[01:05:28] progress as long as four is only take nine hours.

[01:05:32] So they're confused as to why I say four days, but whatever.

[01:05:36] But we can see as the road trip is going how just being in that car

[01:05:43] with Gerard and his dad like we can see their bonds like strengthening.

[01:05:48] Gerard is very interesting.

[01:05:51] He wants some I forget the name of the chicken place that he wanted for breakfast.

[01:05:55] But he was there like jolly jolly jolly jolly jolly.

[01:06:00] Joe dangles.

[01:06:01] Some some southern fast food restaurant that keep in mind, he also crashes the car.

[01:06:06] He also crashes the car.

[01:06:08] Also the battery in the car die and mind you, the dad get OK.

[01:06:11] The dad get out and start to fix it.

[01:06:13] OK, the dad is through and he under the car over the thing.

[01:06:16] But also shout out to dad though, right?

[01:06:18] Yeah.

[01:06:19] He definitely remind, I'm telling you,

[01:06:22] as how my dad was, because my dad was older

[01:06:25] and he reminded me of my dad.

[01:06:27] And I remember having to be able to like hold my dad up

[01:06:30] and walk him around places as he got older.

[01:06:33] So it was definitely,

[01:06:35] it definitely hit a lot of strings from me watching him

[01:06:39] with his dad and how his dad maneuver and stuff like that.

[01:06:42] He's like, my dad's not, nothing wrong with him.

[01:06:44] He's just, you know, which older, you know,

[01:06:48] and stuff like that.

[01:06:48] And I know one of his jokes was, you know,

[01:06:51] there's nothing wrong with him.

[01:06:52] He's just carrying the weight of his sins, you know,

[01:06:55] which I thought was just fucking wise.

[01:06:57] Right, just interesting.

[01:06:59] And we see them getting stronger or like we just,

[01:07:01] we can just see from when Gerard first got into the car

[01:07:05] to when they are in South Carolina,

[01:07:07] just how much more like cohesive they are Gerard

[01:07:10] once this food, but he is a stickler

[01:07:12] that like the restaurant has to have like over a 95% rating.

[01:07:16] And you could even see the dad like,

[01:07:17] oh Lord Jesus please let the food

[01:07:19] that's made over here clean.

[01:07:21] Like we can see them bonding.

[01:07:24] Also very interesting Gerard's dad is,

[01:07:27] I wanna say in his late 70s, he's from South Carolina.

[01:07:30] They booked him at one of the hotels.

[01:07:32] They pulled up to the hotel and it was a nice hotel,

[01:07:36] but it was essentially like an old plantation

[01:07:38] and the dad was like having flashbacks

[01:07:40] and the dad was like, I can't stay here.

[01:07:42] And so Gerard had to call his assistant

[01:07:44] and then they went up to the good old Marriott.

[01:07:46] You know, we love the Marriott over here.

[01:07:47] And so again, just seeing those real life things

[01:07:50] about his dad that 70 something years old

[01:07:53] that although he was not a slave,

[01:07:58] the dad also talks about how when he was younger,

[01:08:00] he used to work in the tobacco fields

[01:08:03] and he's explaining like how he will work

[01:08:05] and Gerard's like, but you weren't getting paid.

[01:08:07] And his dad is like, well no.

[01:08:09] And Gerard's like, well that sounds like a slave.

[01:08:13] Like, you know, like that sounds the mentality of it.

[01:08:16] And again, they're in the South.

[01:08:17] And so we get to see all of these like historical contexts

[01:08:20] and Gerard having these moments with his dad

[01:08:22] and everything was going good.

[01:08:24] And they fireworks, they hanging out with the family.

[01:08:26] And then the episode ends

[01:08:28] where Gerard is at the fire with his dad

[01:08:31] and Gerard has four other siblings

[01:08:34] outside of his dad's marriage with his mom

[01:08:36] that lived in the same town as them

[01:08:38] that went to school with Gerard.

[01:08:39] And Gerard wants to have this conversation with his dad

[01:08:42] because Gerard also is like, I see myself in my dad

[01:08:45] in my relationship, like I'm stepping out and you know,

[01:08:48] and so he asks his dad some questions like,

[01:08:51] did you feel bad when you were stepping out on mom

[01:08:54] for all these years?

[01:08:56] And like, how did it feel?

[01:08:58] Gerard also explains to us that he feels like

[01:09:01] his dad enjoyed that other family

[01:09:03] more than he enjoyed his family with him

[01:09:06] and the dad was not about it.

[01:09:09] The dad said, I knew this, I knew this, I knew this,

[01:09:12] I knew this, I knew this, I knew this.

[01:09:15] And he's like, you talk about other feelings

[01:09:17] that you have about you coming out,

[01:09:19] you are, how about the feelings that I have?

[01:09:22] Like, you know, you're trying to embarrass me.

[01:09:24] You're trying to make it public.

[01:09:25] Gerard's like, make it public.

[01:09:27] I said, you, Gerard's like,

[01:09:29] you're the one that made it the most public.

[01:09:31] You fathered children outside of your marriage.

[01:09:34] That's the most public thing you can do.

[01:09:37] And so Gerard kind of sticks it to his dad a little bit

[01:09:40] where he's like, your way of handling it

[01:09:44] is not talking about it and sweeping under the rug.

[01:09:47] And he's like, you can't criticize my way of bringing it up.

[01:09:50] Yeah, I might have these cameras

[01:09:51] because the dad is also like,

[01:09:52] this won't be on the special.

[01:09:54] And Gerard's like, maybe.

[01:09:55] But Gerard kind of like tells his dad,

[01:09:58] yeah, the way that I'm going about doing it,

[01:10:01] it might not be the best way,

[01:10:04] but it's the only way I know how to do it.

[01:10:06] And I am attempting to have these conversations.

[01:10:08] I want to meet my other brothers.

[01:10:10] I want to like and yeah.

[01:10:13] It was very, it was very like, it was very like,

[01:10:16] like, you know, you could tell he's frustrated.

[01:10:19] You could tell that he's like passionate

[01:10:20] and he feels like, like I said,

[01:10:22] he has these cameras so he knows he's protected.

[01:10:24] He doesn't have to worry about his dad lashing out

[01:10:27] or trying to hit him or something crazy.

[01:10:29] So he's just like, I'm going to give it to you.

[01:10:32] I think the delivery could have been

[01:10:34] a little bit different, but because he is feeling like,

[01:10:40] parents used to say,

[01:10:41] I mean, he's this old-time, the parents used to say,

[01:10:43] like you smelling yourself, you know?

[01:10:45] So I think in that moment, he was like,

[01:10:47] I'm very empowered and high almighty.

[01:10:49] So I'm going to say how I want to say it.

[01:10:52] And I think it's also frustrating

[01:10:53] because the dad should tell, explain,

[01:10:57] where he was coming from.

[01:10:57] This was also a way for the dad to explain

[01:11:01] where his thought process was and things like that.

[01:11:03] But I think because when dad signed up for this,

[01:11:06] he was like, we're talking about you and our relationship.

[01:11:09] He wasn't trying to involve everything else.

[01:11:12] So, and it was very hard to see because

[01:11:17] I'm not, I don't want to say I feel bad

[01:11:19] for both parties in this situation

[01:11:21] because you could tell on the dad's face

[01:11:24] that he's just like, I didn't want to talk about this,

[01:11:27] but he was also like, I don't know what to do.

[01:11:29] And it ends with the dad just saying,

[01:11:33] in such a, it was like, I felt like the dad was going to cry.

[01:11:36] He's like, can I go home?

[01:11:39] You know, like he's just so shut down and defeated.

[01:11:43] And then, you know, I was just like, okay,

[01:11:46] I don't know what to do.

[01:11:47] Like I tried my best.

[01:11:49] Yeah.

[01:11:50] It just was a realistic ending,

[01:11:53] not the ending that we wanted to see

[01:11:55] but a realistic ending.

[01:11:56] And I think that like the dad saying,

[01:12:00] it's about our relationship.

[01:12:01] I don't want to talk about that,

[01:12:02] but Gerard is like, but that has everything

[01:12:05] to do with our relationship.

[01:12:06] It's just like that, I don't know.

[01:12:08] It's just that time that sometimes our parents aren't perfect.

[01:12:12] Our parents are human,

[01:12:14] but also sometimes it's like,

[01:12:16] we have to hold our parents accountable.

[01:12:18] And I think that was one of the moments

[01:12:20] and it just kind of,

[01:12:22] the episode ended in my mouth there.

[01:12:26] I remember, I remember your mouth being like just sitting there.

[01:12:29] I was also stunned because I didn't know what to think.

[01:12:32] And at this point, I just know,

[01:12:34] cause we're kind of leading up to it.

[01:12:36] I feel like we're leading up to him

[01:12:38] meeting with his mother.

[01:12:40] No matter what, it's coming at some point,

[01:12:43] either, you know, we get it this season

[01:12:45] or if he gets renewed for another season for sure.

[01:12:49] But I really will say,

[01:12:50] I don't think this is something I want to see.

[01:12:55] And the reason why I say that this is so authentic

[01:12:57] and so real and so captivating,

[01:13:00] I wanted to continue this freshness

[01:13:02] of how real and captivating it is.

[01:13:05] I hope it doesn't get to a point

[01:13:07] where they started getting really super produced.

[01:13:11] If it stays the way it is,

[01:13:13] keep giving me seasons of it.

[01:13:15] But I also-

[01:13:16] Season ain't over, we got more.

[01:13:17] I'm just saying in general,

[01:13:18] cause usually seasons ending six or seven, okay?

[01:13:23] With HBO, maybe eight.

[01:13:26] Eight is usually their max with these series.

[01:13:28] But I'm just saying,

[01:13:30] I think it's gonna lead up because keep in mind,

[01:13:32] the dad did call his mom on FaceTime

[01:13:36] and talk to her and stuff like that.

[01:13:38] So that was interesting.

[01:13:40] But I mean, it was powerful episode, right?

[01:13:43] I'm very glad that I'm watching it.

[01:13:45] I hope that other people get into it

[01:13:47] cause I think it gives them an insight

[01:13:48] of a little bit of what we go through

[01:13:51] and what we grow up as being black gay men

[01:13:53] and how it is.

[01:13:55] I don't condone everything, but-

[01:13:59] It's his experience, right?

[01:14:01] It's not our experience,

[01:14:02] but there are pieces of his experience

[01:14:04] that we can relate to.

[01:14:05] And I also think it doesn't limit just being black

[01:14:08] and gay, I think that him just being so authentic,

[01:14:13] there's stuff you're gonna agree with,

[01:14:14] stuff you're not gonna agree with,

[01:14:15] but I guarantee you there will be something

[01:14:17] that you can relate to

[01:14:20] because it really is that raw and that real.

[01:14:24] And so that's why we wanted to come

[01:14:25] and give you our review on the first four episodes

[01:14:28] of the Gerard Carmichael show.

[01:14:30] We thank you so much for listening.

[01:14:32] Thank you, Derek, so much for your time.

[01:14:33] Derek, what you got over there, over there,

[01:14:36] over there, over there going on with you?

[01:14:39] I know you're covering Survivor every week.

[01:14:41] What else can you tell the people?

[01:14:42] No, just covering Survivor each week.

[01:14:45] Of course, on the Heavy Crown Network,

[01:14:46] I had the royalty show that I do with myself,

[01:14:49] Tiffany and Hannah.

[01:14:51] Other than that, just getting ready for my road trip

[01:14:54] to go to Chicago.

[01:14:55] Maybe I need to hire this film crew.

[01:14:58] We're gonna get on that minivan.

[01:15:00] We're gonna get on the RV.

[01:15:02] I might have to get this RV because I'm telling you,

[01:15:05] but yeah, getting ready to go to Chicago

[01:15:09] for the first time, I'm so excited.

[01:15:11] Kidnaught way to see Chicago.

[01:15:14] Every day, Derek texts me every time I talk to Derek.

[01:15:17] It's like, I'm moving to Chicago.

[01:15:18] I'm like, Derek, you've never been to Chicago,

[01:15:19] but I love Chicago.

[01:15:21] So Derek is so excited for Chicago.

[01:15:22] So excuse me if I'm rolling my eyes because I am so tired.

[01:15:25] I cannot wait till we get to Chicago.

[01:15:27] I'm gonna take a photo of Derek everywhere

[01:15:29] because this man is so excited to get to Chicago.

[01:15:34] I'm so excited, but other than that,

[01:15:35] everything is good.

[01:15:36] I'm watching the show.

[01:15:38] I'm actually today gonna see what else I can find

[01:15:40] on HBO Max because, I mean,

[01:15:43] right now I've been so captivated

[01:15:45] by everything they've been dropping,

[01:15:47] but this is great.

[01:15:49] So that's a lot.

[01:15:50] Well, thank you so much, Derek.

[01:15:51] Let us know in the comments what you think

[01:15:53] about this episode in our review

[01:15:54] and we will come back after the season concludes

[01:15:57] and we'll give you the second half of our take.

[01:15:59] Thank you guys for listening.

[01:16:02] Bye.

[01:16:03] It's a purple pants.

[01:16:04] It's a purple pants.

[01:16:06] It's a purple pants podcast.

[01:16:08] You better get your headphones and listen up quick.

[01:16:11] It's a purple pants podcast.

[01:16:13] You better listen and public might make your stomach hurt.

[01:16:16] It's a purple pants podcast.

[01:16:18] You're trying to unwind.

[01:16:19] You better get that box wide.

[01:16:21] It's a purple pants podcast.

[01:16:23] You're trying to get your snack.

[01:16:24] You better hurry right back though.

[01:16:26] It's a purple pants.

[01:16:27] It's a purple pants.

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